It’s hard for me to say this, but we are done! At least for another day. It’s not me it’s you. I know we’ve been together for a long time and have had a lot of great fun together. Like that time I went to Santa Cruz beach boardwalk and you were waiting for me in the form of a Churo. Your crisp sweetness tempted me like Cindy Crawford to a 13 year old boy. Am I dating myself? Whatever she’s still hot!
To be honest I’ve met someone else…Splenda. Just kidding, just making sure you all are paying attention. I ‘d sooner wax Robin Williams then touch that garbage and if you haven’t seen his back use the great power of Google.
I’ve finally learned that I can survive without you and it’s bitter-sweet. (poor choice of words?) I can honestly say that we will meet again, but now it’s on my terms. I think you should move out. I will still see you from time to time, but you can’t stay here anymore. It’s time to slow things down. You see the problem is you have been making me un-healthy and now I know it. Goodbye my love.
On a more serious note, I could not have done this detox without Simone. She has made this so easy for me. She made almost every meal and had delicious snacks always around.